I am married to a wonderful hard working man. Ryan is a truck driver and most nights he is able to come home and just do local runs. But his job does put him on the road 3-4 days a week sometimes. He works so hard and such long hours so I can stay home with our girls. I know that doesn't work for every family and it does make money tight for us at times but it is so good for me to be in the home with the kids. We have been married for almost 5 years and it has been wonderful. Not to say we haven't had our struggles. We have stressed over money and bills, moved way too many times. lived in 3 different towns. I know this sounds like a cliche but I am glad we had such a hard beginning because we made it through together. It has made us stronger and helped us learn what works for us and our marriage.
Chloe is our oldest at 10 years old. She has an attitude the size of a 16 year old lol. But she is so excited to learn and help that it makes up for the hard days. Up until recently she was living with her mom full time and with us every other weekend during the school year and every other week during the summer. A few months ago we moved to the same town her mom lives in so we could have her in our home more. Around the same time some things changed in her moms life that made it so she didn't have child care after school. So for the time being she is with us 5 days a week and with her mom the other two. It has been an adjustment for all involved but it has been such a blessing and we love having her with us more. Her little sisters just adore her! Having her home after school has given us the chance to bake and cook together. She makes cookies better then I do. She is so eager to learn and be involved. I am so grateful we were able to live so close to have her with us more!
Allie turns two next month. She is such a bright young girl. She is learning so much and copies everything her big sister does. They are such good friends you wouldn't guess they had an 8 year age gap. Allie loves to be in charge and will try to boss everyone around including Mom and Dad if we would let her. She is the leader of the pack for our two dogs and they listen to every command she gives. (even thought she only knows so many words) When she was a baby my brother in law said that babies are fun but wait till they are 2 or three it is so much fun. At first I thought he was joking because how could a kid in the middle of the "terrible twos" be better then my adorable brand new baby. Now that she is almost 2 I understand completely. She is so much fun and such a joy in my life!
Oakley our 8 month old. Although we didn't plan to have our kids 14 months apart she has been such a blessing and I am now glad they are so close because they are already close friends. Allie looks out for Oakley and gets mad if she gets left at home with Dad or if she goes down for a nap and misses out on the fun. Not only did Oakley make an early appearance in our family she also made an early appearance in the world. She was born 6 weeks early. She had to spend the first month of her life in the NICU. It was a very hard time for our family but now seems like a distant memory.
Now to me.... I sometimes feel like my identity is completely wrapped up in my kids and that I am a boring person with out them. Because they are so young and the youngest two are so close it requires 99% of my life and time. I love them so much and I love being a mom but I am working on bringing myself back so I can still be me with out them. I know part of the reason I lost myself over the past year is the depression and anxiety I have been dealing with. Some days it so hard to face life I couldn't get out of bed longer then just feeding my kids and heading back to my safe warm bed. I normally don't share the dark part of my life and I don't like to admit that some days the TV is on all day and I accomplish nothing. That in turn makes me feel guilty and then more depressed. But I am working on getting past that and sharing my thoughts in this blog is one way I am trying to get out of my head and back to the the happy, loving person I know I have inside me. I have also started crocheting again and am making a blanket for the little girls crib. Chloe has already put in an order for what kind of blanket she wants after I finish the baby blanket. I joined a gym this week as well. Its time to get my body, mind and soul healthy again.
I am not going to lie I ended up sharing more there then I originally planned but I think it is what I needed to share. So if you want to live the ups and downs with me on this crazy adventure and see where life and this blog takes us then feel free to follow me. I don't really have a game plan for what I'll share on this blog but whatever I decide to share that week will be me....the good, the bad and the ugly truth.
(We don't have an updated family photo. So here is one from a year and a half ago before Oakley and one from last week of Oakley. Guess I'll add family pictures to the top of my list.)
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